i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
