either way he was missing a nipple.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
