Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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