Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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