This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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