so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
