My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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