Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
