remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
