erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
