READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
