so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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