She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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