He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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