You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
