i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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