Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
