ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
