Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
