Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
