we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
