So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
