Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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