Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
