you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
