Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize