You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
