in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
