I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
