It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize