i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
