I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
