Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
