dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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