just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
