I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
