Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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