Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
