Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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