you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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