i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
