I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
