Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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