What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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