So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
