I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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