I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
