I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
