So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
