Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
