I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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