i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
