Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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