Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
